WHY
AM I
MARRIED?
You
have
two
choices
in life:
You can
stay
single
and be
miserable,
or get
married
and wish
you were
dead.
At a
cocktail
party,
one
woman
said to
another,
'Aren't
you
wearing
your
wedding
ring on
the
wrong
finger?'
'Yes, I
am. I
married
the
wrong
man.'
A
lady
inserted
an ad in
the
classifieds:
'Husband
Wanted'.
Next day
she
received
a
hundred
letters.They
all said
the same
thing:
'You
can
have
mine.'
When
a woman
steals
your
husband,
there
is no
better
revenge
than to
let her
keep
him.
A
woman
is
incomplete
until
she is
married.
Then she
is
finished
.
A
little
boy
asked
his
father,
'Daddy,
how much
does it
cost to
get
married?'
Father
replied,
'I don't
know
son, I'm
still
paying.'
A
young
son
asked,'Is
it true
Dad,
that in
some
parts of
Africa a
man
doesn't
know his
wife
until he
marries
her?'
Dad
replied,
'That
happens
in
every
country,
son.'
Then
there
was a
woman
who
said, 'I
never
knew
what
real
happiness
was
until I
got
married,
and by
then, it
was too
late.'
Marriage
is the
triumph
of
imagination
over
intelligence.
If
you want
your
spouse
to
listen
and pay
strict
attention
to
every
word you
say --
talk in
your
sleep.
Just
think,
if it
weren't
for
marriage,
men
would go
through
life
thinking
they
had no
faults
at all.
First
guy
says,
'My
wife's
an
angel!'
Second
guy
remarks,
'You're
lucky,
mine's
still
alive.'
'A
Woman's
Prayer:
Dear
Lord, I
pray
for:
Wisdom,
To
understand
a man ,
to Love
and to
forgive
him ,
and for
patience,
For his
moods.
Because
Lord, if
I pray
for
Strength
I'll
just
beat him
to
death'
AND
NOW FOR
THE
FAVORITE!!!
Husband
and
wife are
waiting
at the
bus stop
with
their
nine
children.
A blind
man
joins
them
after a
few
minutes.
When the
bus
arrives,
they
find it
overloaded
and only
the wife
and the
nine
kids are
able to
fit onto
the bus.
So
the
husband
and the
blind
man
decide
to walk.
After a
while,
the
husband
gets
irritated
by the
ticking
of the
stick of
the
blind
man as
he taps
it on
the
sidewalk,
and says
to him,
'Why
don't
you put
a piece
of
rubber
at the
end of
your
stick?
That
ticking
sound is
driving
me
crazy.'
The
blind
man
replies,
'If you
would've
put a
rubber
at the
end of
YOUR
stick,
we'd be
riding
the bus,
so shut
the hell
up.'
